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| Friday 20th March
2008 | Issue 625
...AND FINALLY...Plotting global domination? You could do worse than up periscope for a gander at what the German government’s stuck up on e-Bay. A U-Boat Bay! Yes, you're own Nazi submarine factory - dank and dark, built by slave labourers - the vast concrete complex known as Valentin is now up for sale. A silo the size of a cathedral: 426m long, 97m wide, 25m high. A million tonnes of gravel and sand had to be dug up and 1,232,000 tonnes of cement was mixed. There’s even a diving basin to test out your machines of underwater destruction The asking price is vague but government officials say that they could be accommodating for any serious bidder. The place has become a millstone, its upkeep swallowing up nearly £600,000 a year from the Defence Ministry budget. “And that’s just the absolutely essential investments needed to stop the place crumbling,” says Kommandant Wolfgang zu Putlitz., (no prizes for guessing he’s) in charge of guarding and maintaining the site – but currently looking for a new job. Das Boot’s on the other foot now, Kamerad!
 
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