CRAP ARREST OF THE WEEK

For eating a bobby’s breakfast...

What would you do if you were feeling peckish and were generally a bit of a daring buccaneer? Supermarket, deli or perhaps just hold up your local chippy?

Michael Allan, a man of strange tastes, entered his local police station in Altrincham, Cheshire through a broken door. He went for a little wander before parking up in the kitchen and making a spot of breakfast. The 23-year-old was found at 4am on Saturday (5th) scoffing a bowl of porridge by a cop turning up to start his shift.

The Goldilocks aspirant had donned a police uniform and helmet he’d found kicking around but when confronted by the real deal, Allan merely calmly asked, ‘Can you help me please, officer?’ He was promptly handcuffed and thrown in a cell that was presumably not too dank, or not dank enough, but just right.