Brighton cops have launched a nation-wide manhunt for an insurgent who used a sophisticated device to disable a vital part of their transportation network.

Babylon issued a statement saying: “Sussex Police have released CCTV images of a man they are keen to trace following the find of several large wood nails that had been placed at the entrances of Brighton police station car parks on Friday 23 March.” Apparently all three carpark entrances were thoroughly seeded with the pointy little fuckers.

Alarmingly, but ungrammatically the statement continued “We believe that this is not the first time nails have been placed at the car park entrances but on this occasion a sergeant’s car tyres have been punctured by the mystery nails.” Police are seeking a 60 year old man in blue baseball cap with an orange carrier bag , possibly a Sainsbury’s ‘bag for life’.

If you know the mystery shopper, then you know what to do – buy him a pint!