AND FINALLY...

No fin ventured nuffin gained.

The interspecies environmental resistance movement is on. Total Oil have admitted that a lone eco-warrior swordfish launched a swift sabotaging attack on an oil loading pipe in Angola recently, causing a three day delay in tanker shipments.

The shashbuckling young swordfish had obviously been paying attention at er... school (and eating a diet rich in omega 3 fish oils no doubt). It was well briefed on Total’s environmental misdeeds and humanitarian mishaps and prepared to back its eco-convictions to the hilt.

Literally. We’re now holding out for Dolphins with dynamite and porpoises with purpose wielding manta-ray-guns. Er...This article should have been funnier, but, on this occasion, the swordfish has proved mightier than the pen.