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Home
| Friday 16th May
2008 | Issue 632
...AND FINALLY...Of course in the U.K we are a little more choosy about turning sci-fi epics into religion. Far bigger than mere Scientology, in the 2001 census nearly 400,000 – nearly 1% of the population - stuck their religion down as “Jedi” While few of those have successfully harnessed the force (next to which, the ability to destroy a planet is insignificant, of course), this hasn’t stopped three enthusiastic converts in Anglesey, from setting up their own ‘Church of Jediism’ to meet others and ‘learn the ways’ together. They quickly gained some 30 devotees – which makes them the fastest growing U.K cult. But the way of the jedi knight no easy road is. The harmless church social club obviously stirred the dark side of the local community and one man, Arwel Wynne Hughes, in particular. Having downed 10 litres of cheap wine (from the local Death-Spar, no doubt) he gave in to hatred and anger and - improvising a Darth Vader outfit from a bin-liner - attacked the Jedi with a crutch, bashing one over the head and bruising another’s leg. Presumably they hadn’t felt the disturbances in the force until too late. But the Force works in mysterious ways and the video camera they’d set up to film themselves enacting a light-sabre fight (sacred church ritual no doubt) fortunately caught the whole thing, and this week the errant Sith-head was given a suspended sentence and fined for his wheeze...
 
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