AND FINALLY

It’s not all roses at present in wealthy expatriate capitalist playground Dubai, which, in recent years, has rapidly transformed itself into a international city-star by using legions of slave-like poorly paid immigrant workers to thrust ever bigger money-worshipping skyscrapers into the desert skyline, while luring in jet-set capitalists with 6 star luxury beach resorts to make it a hub of world trade and tax free haven.

Whilst most of this stinks, at least be comforted by the knowledge that it stinks for many of the rich inhabitants too. Literally. Because, in typical lawless capitalist style, they’ve cut costs and been dumping their waste in the sea. A lovely mixture of raw sewage and chemical waste has been washing up in the local surf, wrinkling more than few posh noses.

“It’s a cesspool. Our tests show too many E.coli to count. It’s like swimming in a toilet,” said Keith ‘it’s all a bit’ Mutch, poor manager of the Offshore Sailing Club, which has posted warnings and been forced to cancel regattas (aahh, shame!).

The stench, and health risks, have forced the closure of swathes of prestigious beach front as the stinking rich bicker with the authorities over who is to blame and how to sort it out. Meanwhile, due to the lack of rainfall and weak tides, it seems the elites will be swimming with turds at leisure as well as at work for some time to come.