AND FINALLY

The police got in a flap recently in Dover when a woman was pulled over for driving with a giant parrot on her shoulder. After they discovered she was in fact banned from driving she was arrested, and a junior policeman was given the job of driving her van to the depot with the three foot long blue and gold macaw for company.

However this particular copper found out just how low on the pecking order he was on the force, having been given a big bird to babysit. Clearly pissed off that his keeper (and favourite shoulder) had been nicked, the macaw - who the police now know to be called Chip - spent the journey violently attacking him and sitting on the steering wheel biting chips out of his fingers.

As it turns out, once Chip was back at the station, the police discovered they were brushing with stardom, ‘cos he’d starred alongside Johnny Depp in the 2003 film Pirates Of The Caribbean (Chips agent probably gets him a lot of pirate work). Chief Superintendent Steve Masters of Kent police said “It was a bit of surprise I must admit to end up with a celebrity on our hands.”