AND FINALLY

Scrooge security guards at Yarl’s Wood detention centre got embroiled in a Santa stand off this week as they tried to prevent a Father Christmas from delivering presents to the immigrant children detained inside.

Having obviously decided the kids inside were on the naughty list (why else would we lock up innocent children after all?) the security guards refused to let Santa through the perimeter fence. When the spurned St Nick began calmly blessing his sack of gifts the irate guards called the police.

The Father Christmas in question, the Rev Canon James Rosenthal, is an Anglican expert on St Nick - the patron saint of children and the imprisoned. The Rev said, “St Nick has never been turned away from anywhere before.” He obviously never tried to get into Britain without papers then.