AND FINALLY

The English Defence League have cancelled their planned swagger through Bolton after organisers uncovered a dastardly ‘black-ops’ plot by antifascists to disguise themselves as EDLers and attack the Asian community.

Yes, those mild mannered trots the UAF - normally too polite to ask a police kettle if they wouldn’t mind awfully letting them walk up the street, just a little, it’s just that there’s going to be a nice speech and we’d really love to hear it - were apparently planning to shave their heads, don Burberry caps and Ben Sherman shirts and go Paki bashing. According to an EDL statement, the unholy scheme was hatched in “a desperate attempt to falsely accuse us of being racist”.

The opportunistic lefties were supposedly planning to take advantage of the fact that the march was scheduled for the same day as a Hindu religious festival. The EDL statement said the march was cancelled out of their “respect for the peace-loving Hindu community”. Of course, they are absolutely right, the vast majority of Hindus are peaceful and reasonable people and it’s only a tiny minority that are violent extremists committing atrocities in the name of a fundamentalist religious belief.

Er, so where have the EDL have heard that argument before?