AND FINALLY

One women from Spain’s Galicia region is not waiting for rich countries’ hand-outs to ‘save’ crisis hit Spain. Angeles Duran has registered herself as owner of the Sun. Yes, the ball of burning gas that powers life on Earth, not the reactionary pisspoor Murdoch mouthpiece.

As nobody has previously done this, and an international agreement only says that no country may claim ownership of stars and planets, mentioning nothing about individuals - the local notary public felt obliged to issue an official document declaring Duran to be the “owner of the Sun, a star of spectral type G2, located in the centre of the solar system, located at an average distance from Earth of about 149,600,000 kilometres”.

Angeles says she now wishes to charge a fee from everyone who uses the sun and … give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20% to the nation’s pension fund*. And we thought the sun wasn’t due to collapse into a black hole for millions of years yet...

*For the record, the remainder was to be split 10% to ‘research’, 10% for fighting poverty and she keeps the rest...