Never mind all those public sector workers having a pay freeze shoved down their throats whilst more hours are demanded of them and their pensions go down the wazoo; don’t worry about all those private sector workers whose pensions have also been devalued and flung to the economic ill winds; ignore those on benefits who are being forced into below minimum wage labour in Tesco or are having to spend half their income on child care because their child allowance has been divvied up between the defence budget and bankers’ bonuses; the one who is really suffering in all this is the poor old Lord Mayor of Plymouth.

In a heart rending outburst this week, Tory Mayor Peter Brookshaw has brought a tear to the eyes of many of his citizens as he mourned the fact he’s been told he’s not allowed to wear his special hat due to council cut backs. And not only that, but he’s not even allowed to be escorted by his mace bearer.

In a letter to the local paper, the Mayor is particularly upset that he must “wear ordinary clothes with just a ‘collarette’” rather than the full chain and regalia; drive himself around, and therefore “can’t socialise because … you can’t have a drink” and suffer the most isolated of existences after being restricted to a mere 30 events per month. This has caused much distress to not only Mayor Brookshaw, but also his wife. “We don’t feel properly attired … Without the official chain you’re a nobody ... It was my dream for 30 years to be Lord Mayor, for me and my wife Brenda to be able to give ourselves to the city. It has been stolen from us.”

This sorry state of affairs has obviously taken up a lot of the mayor’s attention, who took the time to voice his personal sorrow to his local populace, but failed to take similar action when his council laid off 500 staff in order to make £30m of cuts. We feel for you Mayor Brookshaw, we really do.