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...And Finally...

Occupation, ethnic cleansing, land theft and killing with impunity. If you thought Israel couldn't sink any lower on the moral plumbline, then think again.

This week Israeli scientists announced that they have just developed a strain of "highless marijuana" named Avidekel. The scientists, based in northern Israel, claim that the new strain will be effective in treating certain medical conditions without getting the patients high. Cannabis is used in the treatment of, amongst other things, cancer, MS and Parkinsons, which beggars the question - if you suffer from any of these illnesses, why wouldn't you want to get high?

However, SchNEWS' team of Ziono-hempology researchers have seen through this one straight away - it's is clearly a plot by Israel's socially conservative establishment to stop the young from having fun while at the same time improving the combat readiness of the IDF, whose mostly young and dumb conscripted grunts are pretty infamous for smoking a jazz cigarette or three to forget about the daily stresses of policing the oppression of the Palestinians.

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