AND FINALLY

Scientists have come out with a report that appears to dispel the myth that we are all unique individuals. The data, gathered from mobile phones, suggests that 93% of all human behaviour is predictable.

Here at SchNEWS we debate these findings. Sure, 93% of the time we spend our weeks in a cramped, dirty office coming up with inexplicable punning headlines and churning out witty reports of the latest direct action. But, we only get the date wrong 10% of the time, make spellign erors 33% of the time and use, bad, punctuation:- 45% of the time. Only 25% of the time are our facts wrong (although according to other sources its 49%) and only 12% of the time we misquote sources.

Only 57% of the time do we labour a point and bleed jokes dry...