EDL: TOMMY CHICKENS OUT

Last Sunday (11th) was the tenth anniversary of something or other, but more importantly it gave SchNEWS’ favourite meatheads – the English Defence League (EDL) – yet another chance to make tits out of themselves.

It started out as a fairly standard clash of the idiots as around 80 EDL came up against an equally sized and equally fascist group of Muslims Against Crusades (MAC). MAC had gone there to protest against US/UK imperialism by burning an American flag during the minute’s silence. EDL were there to get pissed and shout at MAC.

The two groups proceeded to shout at each other for a bit from their policed pens in Hyde Park, with neither side particularly threatening the thin blue line between them. Both sides were condemned as “sick” and “disgusting” by those attending the 9/11 remembrance. Satisfied they had successfully defended Britain from the imaginary Islamic threat, the EDL retired to a nearby Wetherspoons for a well-earned pint.

When a group of Asians passed the pub things got a bit more fighty. EDL reverted to type and slung insults and furniture at them, and in the ensuing fight two EDL received stab wounds.

Tommy Robinson, the EDL leader, was released on Tuesday (13th). His week of incarceration for breaking bail conditions was action packed with a heroic hunger strike, lucrative legal fund and even a campaign against Amnesty International for not supporting him. The  hunger strike was motivated by him being a “political prisoner of the state” as well as his fears that the food was Halal.

Unfortunately Tommy’s “hunger strike only lasted 24 hours and then he gave up”, and once out Tommy celebrated with a meal at Nandos – which serves Halal chicken.