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Round 1996 | Frequently
Asked Questions Frequently Asked Questions about the SchNEWS1) Why are you called "SchNEWS"? Well, we're all avid alien abduction conspiracy theorists, so we thought we'd pay homage to those lovely beings at SCHWA - Stay AWAKE! (Actually we're sponsored by Schweppes.) 2) Where do you get your money from? Contrary to popular belief we are not bankrolled by Colonel Gadaffi, or even the Levellers (although those nice popsters do rent us a room in their Metway complex for a very reasonable rate; i.e. zero.) We exist entirely on donations, subscriptions, or sales (and of course the second-hand armaments we sell to dodgy third world dictators.) 3) Can you write my dissertation for me? As well as writing the SchNEWS? We do really want people to find out more about what's going on though, and the best way to do this is to get involved. 4) Where's my subscription? Schwoops! Well, OK. Being a disorganisation, we do have the occasional cock-up, and send out the wrong things to people, or not at all, and we're terribly sorry if it goes astray. Top tips to help you get it to you quicker: be sure to leave a forwarding address - and make sure it isn't a squat that's about to get demolished to build a by-pass. 5) How do I change my window frame? Yes we at SchNEWS are advertised as a DIY group in our local Yellow Pages so we tend to get phone calls from people wanting to do a bit of home-improving. These are usually met with fits of giggles, and advice on self-improvement, along with a copy of the SchNEWS (which probably ends up as a draught excluder.)
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