The least organised fascists in the world are planning to attack our local anarchist theme pub, The Cowley Club.

During the riots last year Lynn Saddington (Brighton based far right loon) decided to attack people leaving the Cowley. Despite the fact that nothing much was happening south of Croydon, Lynn had deduced that those dastardly “lefties and liberals” were clearly orchestrating the sporadic violence. Unfortunately our hero also announced her cunning plan on Facebook, declaring “AND TO ALL THE OLD BILL WATCHING THIS I dont give a fuck you stop them or we will!!!”. Unsurprisingly the cops intercepted Lynn's vigilante mob before they got anywhere near their intended target and told them to piss off out of town, which they did.

Following on from this year's piss poor showing at March for England, Casuals United announced they would “peacefully counter” an antifascist benefit at the Cowley. As a result café volunteers had to put up with a few deluded idiots calling to threaten them and (bizarrely) play the national anthem down the phone. Again the intended disruption came to nowt, primarily due the perceived linearity of time as the gig in question happened a year before the Casuals had decided to go.

BILL (FACEBOOK) POSTERS WILL BE PROSECUTED

On Friday 7th September, undeterred by these pathetic failures, Bill Baker (leader of lunatic fringe English Nationalist Alliance) took to Facebook to announce a “surprise” visit to the Cowley Club. Billy adds that he's going to give antifa “a few slaps” and also implies a bit of arson for good measure. In the meantime Bill has his best brains looking in to who runs the “collectively owned and run” social club. Our money's on this guy - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Cowley

Bill was also the mastermind behind an “infiltration” of Smash EDO's Hammertime demo in October 2010. His foot soldiers received a short education in hard left politics but he never made it himself as apparently his car broke down in Pease Pottage.

EAST 17 REUNION

The majority of the English Defence League (EDL) are currently more concerned with how to regroup following their humiliation in Walthamstow. Their next demonstration is Walsall on Saturday 29th September with the leadership keen for a huge fascist turnout to reverse their downward spiral. Obviously lacking in any new ideas, EDL leader 'Tommy Robinson' has announced that they will return to Walthamstow on 27th October. We don't really understand the reasons for a second suicide march, but we're looking forward to watching it.