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Home | Satire

War On Terror
Including 9-11, Afghanistan invasion, US foreign policy, Iran, Guantanamo. See also Iraq, Oil, Bush, Blair

 

 
US Military is moving to unmanned drones and robots to fight their unwinnable wars.
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30th July 2010 | Issue 733 - ROBOT WARS - Drones or UAVs (Unmanned Aerial Vehicles) are increasingly becoming the face of modern imperial war. Remotely piloted Predator, Reaper and now Avenger drones mean that the world’s great powers can unleash destruction from afar without risking a single soldiers life.

 

The news from Afghanistan
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5th February 2010 | Issue 708 - EYEWITNESS AFGHANISTAN - A now the news from war-torn Afghanistan as SchNEWS talks to Brightonian Al Jazeera journalist Medyan Dairieh recently returned from the country.


Obama's new model war on terror
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17th July 2009 | Issue 684 - GOOD PLAN, 'STAN - As the body count mounts, we look at the unwinnable war in Afghanistan, and the Obama chapter of the 'War Of Terror'.


Wham, Obama, Thank U Uncle Sam...
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30th January 2009 | Issue 664 - President Obama is inaugurated - is it the dawn of a new age or more of the same with a more appealing face? Call us cynical but the evidence is the latter.


Guantanamo - the Hilton of the War On Terror
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30th January 2009 | Issue 664 - INSIDE GUANTANAMO - Moazzam Begg, British ex-detainee of Guantanamo, said that Guantanamo was “like the Hilton” compared to other places in which he was incarcerated.

In his first week in office, President Obama made moves to close down Guantanamo - which is great, apart from the fact that it's the tip of the iceberg, and there are many - even less visible - places where suspected terrorists are being renditioned tortured outside public scrutiny.


SchNEWS anxiously awaits the results of next week's US presidental election
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31st October 2008 | Issue 653 - With the US election next week, we wonder what is the contents of the folder Obama is holding, as he embraces fellow candidate John McCain?


9-11 Cluedo
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12th September 2008 | Issue 646 - TWIN OBSESSIONS - On the anniversary of 9-11, we turn all the conspiracy theories into a whole game for the bored family...

 
 
 
Afghanistan
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13th June 2008 | Issue 635- COCK 'N' KABUL STORY - 'Reconstruction' in Afghanistan has amounted to contracts with the cash falling mostly into the pockets of US corporations in the 'war' industry.

 
 
 
 
Perpetual War... Means British Jobs
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29th September 2006 | Issue 562 - MAKING A BOMB - Corporations and governments use war to gain power, access to resources and markets, and for domestic propaganda – ultimately it’s just a means to an end.
 
 
 
 
9-11 - Bush in Alien conspiracy shocker
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8th September 2006 | Issue 559 - TRUTH-ACHE - It’s the big fight over ‘the truth’. In the blue corner we have the US government’s official version of 9-11 events and in all the other corners we have proponents of various ‘conspiracy’ theories. But in these days of governments caught telling outright lies about WMDs etc, and a massive groundswell of cynicism about any official pronouncement - just what is a conspiracy theory? What happens when ‘common sense’ is hijacked and the fringe goes mainstream?
 
 
 
 
Waropoly
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17th Feb 2006 | Issue 532- Waropoly

 
 
 
 
I Want That One
4th November 2005 | Issue 519 - IRAN-MONGERS - “The push by the UK, France and Germany to refer Iran to the UN Security Council, while rooted in the language of diplomacy, is really nothing less than an act of war.” - Scott Ritter; former Chief UN Weapons-inspector in Iraq.
 
 
 
 
Shoot To Kill - Jean Charles Menezes
19th August 2005 | Issue 508 - BLAIR FACED LIES - “We demand a full and speedy public inquiry into Jean’s murder. We believe that the web of deceit that was spun by the Metropolitan Police means that Sir Iain Blair’s position is now untenable and he should resign immediately. Furthermore we believe that it is inconceivable that the Home Office and government were not aware of these circumstances. They failed not only to counter the lies in the public domain but actively counselled against Jean by press releasing details of his visa status on the day of his funeral” - Justice for Jean campaign
 
 
 
 
Lock 'em all up - and protect freedom

13th May 2005 | Issue 497 - PAIN IN THE GULAGS - “The best hope for peace in our world is the expansion of freedom in all the world.” - George Bush, 2nd Inaugural Speech. There are now some 2.2 million prisoners in the land of the free, nearly twice as many as in 1990, giving it the biggest prison population in the world and one of the highest proportions of the population in jail, alongside other freedom loving countries like North Korea

 
 
 
 
Son Of Star Wars

22nd April 2005 | Issue 494 - ROCKET ROULETTE - “It’s politically sensitive, but it’s going to happen,” sneered Commander-in-chief of US Space command, Joseph W. Ashy “We’re going to fight from space and we’re going to fight into space.”

Star Wars is back - and this time it's for real...

 
 
 
 
Grow Your Own Noxious Weed
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28th January 2005 | Issue 482 - GROWING DISSENT - “Seeds are the software - and we have the seeds.” - Anonymous corporate seed company executive. With agriculture providing the main source of income for two and a half billion people the effects of biotechnology are immense. Farmers across the world are being locked into a cycle of dependency on biotechnology companies, who of course just want to help them to feed the world.

 
 
 
 
As Aznar loses Spanish election, Blair wonders if the same is in store for him...

19th March 2004 | Issue 446 - TOTAL PAZ TAKE - It began with the bombing of Spanish commuter trains and the deliberate slaughter of 200 people - one hundred hours later and the government of Jose Maria Aznar had lost an election they were predicted to win. Aznar had attempted to connect the bombings to the Basque separatist group ETA, knowing that if the attack were linked to al-Qa’ida, it would be seen as their revenge for the Spamish Govt’s support of the war in Iraq, which 90% of the population was against...

 
 
 
 
In Money We Trust
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29th August 2003 | Issue 420 - AGRI-VULTURES - Battle lines being drawn, accusations flying, corporations spewing propaganda, humanity threatened – it seems all’s going according to plan for the WTO Ministerial Meeting that begins in less than two weeks in Cancun, Mexico.

 
 
 
 
American - the land of the free

24th Jan 2003 | Issue 389 - INS AND OUT - “The idea that terrorism is a third world import carried in by non-white people has become the widely accepted excuse for increasingly repressive border policies throughout the global north... A border panic has been carefully constructed so that the ‘terrorists’ are always seen as existing ‘outside’ of ‘our society’.” - Nandita Sharma, Green Pepper magazine, Autumn 2002

 

Henry Kissinger is Human Rights Terminator

6th December 2002 | Issue 384 - KISSINGER OF DEATH - Human rights champion Henry Kissinger is to head an ‘independent’ commission to investigate the attacks on 9-11. Who better to investigate it than the man behind untold amounts of state-sponsored terrorism and wanted across the world as a war criminal! A proven liar has been assigned the task of finding the truth. Brilliant!

 
 
 
US National Security Strategy
11th October 2002 | Issue 376 - DOCU-MENTAL - The Bush Administration has released its new National Security Strategy. A document whose contents list included agenda items such as the obviously ironic, “Champion Aspirations for Human Dignity,” the arrogant, “Ignite a New Era of Global Economic Growth through Free Markets and Free Trade,” and the downright scary “Develop Agendas for Cooperative Action with the Other Main Centers of Global Power.”
 
 
 
 
More have been killed fighting the war on terror than died at 9-11

13th September 2002 | Issue 372 - SILENT BUT DEADLY - On the first anniversary of 9-11, we recall that other September 11 - 1973 - socialist President Allende of Chile was murdered in a coup led by CIA backed dictator, General Pinochet. Which reminds us of all the other war crimes and genocide the US has waged before and since 9-11.

 
 
 
 
"The Boots Are Made For Walking"

17th May 2002 | Issue 355 - AMERICAN WET DREAM - It will be the ordinary Iraqi people who will again suffer if President Bush and his cronies use their so-called war on terrorism to start bombing a country, that has already been bombed back to the dark ages. The Pentagon’s ‘medium case scenario’ is that a war on Iraq could kill more than 10,000 civilians. But this could be even worse if, as journalist John Pilger puts it, the Americans “implement their current strategy of ‘total war’ and target Iraq’s electricity and water.”

 
 
 

 
SchNEWS, c/o Community Base, 113 Queens Rd, Brighton, BN1 3XG, England
Phone/Fax: +44 (0)1273 685913
email: schnews@brighton.co.uk

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OTHER SATIRE
Spoofs

Jolly Roger Press
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Jolly Roger Press -
SchNEWS's take on an anarchist publishing house catalogue produced for the Anarchist Bookfair, Issue 608 - October 2007 (Download PDF - 970kb)

Blair Mugshot
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Blair Charge Sheet
- as Blair leaves, we look at his record - Issue 594, June 2007 (Click Here)

Rave Casualty Support Group
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Barrio Social Centre - What's On Guide - SchNEWS looks at a typical British social centre. Issue 573 - Jan 2007. (Download PDF - 220kb)

Upper Crust - from the spoof festival guide
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Spoof Festival Guide
- close to the bone parody of UK festival scene produced for Big Green Gathering, Issue 553 - August 2006. (Download PDF - 2.2meg)

Winston get a mohawk - Mayday 2000
SchNEWS Worst Britain
- produced for the Peace De Resistance book in 2003 (Click Here)


Are You Really Green? - questionnaire produced for the Big Green Gathering 2007 (not yet available)