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Home | Satire

Film/TV Parodies
You may need to know the film or TV show to get the joke with some of these!


Climate direct action A-Team
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22nd October 2010 | Issue 744 - CRUDE BUT REFINED - Utmost secrecy, activist goodie bags and sheer determination shut down the Corydon oil refinery in Essex - the UK’s busiest oil refinery - last week in one of the most well-planned actions the climate justice movement has seen so far.


No Borders Camp, Brussels
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24th September 2010 | Issue 740 - BRUSSELS SPROUTS CAMP - No Borders Camp 2010 in Brussels kicks off this Saturday (25th) til the 3rd October, and plenty are converging on that part of the continent in an effort to create a world where no one is illegal. Among the objectives of the camp are the denouncing of European migration policy; and showing the links between this policy and the structures of capitalism and repression.

The Camp for Climate Action moves from Wales to Scotland
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20th August 2010 | Issue 735 - HIGH PRESSURE FRONT - Climate Climate Camp Cymru in South Wales ends - having had to change sites midway through due to an eviction - and then climate campaigners took at site in Edinburgh to begin the Scottish Climate Camp.

UK Teknival is busted by police
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18th June 2010 | Issue 727 - RAVING MADNESS - The UK Teknival over Mayday in Wales was busted by police and gear confiscated in another attack on fre parties and festivals in Britain.

Buy Nothing Day
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27th November 2009 | Issue 701 - BUY BUY CRUEL WORLD - It's Buy Nothing Day, and no better time than to order a complete set of SchNEWS annuals for only £9.99...

Postman Pat goes on strike
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6th November 2009 | Issue 698 - POST APOCALYPSE - as the posties go on strike at a round of cutbacks designed to prepare the Royal Mail for privatisation.

The Great Climate Swoop
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9th October 2009 | Issue 694 - SWOOPER TROOPERS - As the Great Climate Swoop descends on the coal-fired power station at Ratcliffe-On-Soar near Nottingham..

Obama's new model war on terror
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17th July 2009 | Issue 684 - GOOD PLAN, 'STAN - As the body count mounts, we look at the unwinnable war in Afghanistan, and the Obama chapter of the 'War Of Terror'.

Calais - The Final Frontier... for refugees trying to seek asylum in Britain.
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22nd May 2009 | Issue 676 - FINAL FRONTIERS - A humanitarian crisis caused by British immigration policy is taking place just over the channel in Calais. Thousands of people in search of a new life in the area are risking their lives to enter the UK and are only surviving with the ‘illegal’ solidarity of local people. The situation has worsened dramatically since the forced closure of the Red Cross’s Sangatte centre.

G20 Dogs
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27th March 2009 | Issue 670 - APOCALYPSE WOW - The G20 Summit in London kicks off next week as the G20 Dogs hit town.

Escape from Capitalititz
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26th September 2008 | Issue 648 - LOST IN TRANSITION - As SchNEWS looks at Transition Towns...

There will be blood - and climate change
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29th August 2008 | Issue 644 - PEAK SPOIL - When it comes to fears of peak oil, the problem might not be that we’re going to run out of fossil fuels - but that we might not...

Kremlins... they're back
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15th August 2008 | Issue 642 - GAME, OSSETIA, MATCH - Georgia, the West-friendly state in the Caucuses, is invaded by Russia. The geo-politics of the oil-rich former Soviet states is not the walk-over which US and Western think it is, as Russia re-asserts it's position in the area...

University Challenge
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23rd May 2008 | Issue 633- SELF DEFENCE - As Sussex Uni students, part of the Smash EDO campaign to close down the Brighton bomb parts factory EDO-MBM, are denied legal aid for imprisonable charges by the judge on the grounds that “they are intelligent enough to represent themselves”.

Sects And The City
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16th May 2008 | Issue 632- SECTS AND THE CITY - As police crack down on protesters at London anti-Scientlogy demo...

Heckler & Koch - A Lethal Combination
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9th May 2008 | Issue 631- HECKLER AT THE BACK - Weapons corporation Heckler & Koch are finding that their gun storage warehouse in Nottingham is becoming a target for anti-arms trade campaigners...

The Good Life go to the local seed swaps
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29th Feb 2008 | Issue 622 - NO STRAIN NO GAIN - "Seeds are the very beginning of the food chain. He, who controls the seeds, controls the food supply and thus controls the people." - Dominique Guillet, Kokopelli.

Trashzilla - the monster from the trash vortex
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15th Feb 2008 | Issue 620 - GARBAGE GAIA - this is not a bad horror b-movie script: there is a monster slick of degrading plastic matter which floats just under the surface of the Pacific Ocean. No plastic doesn't 'biodegrade', it simply breaks down to smaller particles - which are toxic to marine life.


Privatising Nemo
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19th October 2007 | Issue 607 - SPLASH THE CASH - as investment sharks in the UK enjoy the thrill of water sports...

Last week investment Bank JP Morgan part purchased Southern Water. With a captive and always thirsty customer base of 6.6 million people, the company's going to be raking in more than £1.5bn per year...

Carry On Climate Camping
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27th July 2007 | Issue 598 - AIRBUSTED - Injunction taken out against Heathrow Camp For Climate Action - If you were in any doubt that the Camp for Climate Action is gonna have a big impact this year then check out Heathrow airport's reaction to having been chosen as the venue! This year the camp will be at the world's busiest airport which is a bigger source of CO2 emissions than most countries. Of course it's sheer lunacy in this time of ecological crisis but the aviation industry are pushing to almost double the airport's capacity by increasing flights and building a third runway. The battle to stop them will be one of the most important environmental battles in Western Europe.

Battle Of Soldiers Blind Destruction as Cilla Black says 'Tara' to ancient Irish monuments at the Hill Of Tara.
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20th July 2007 | Issue 597 - Blind Destruction as Cilla Black says 'Tara' to ancient Irish monuments at the Hill Of Tara.

God The Builder
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13th July 2007 | Issue 596 - SMOTHER EARTH - SchNEWS looks at some of the techno-fixes planned to combat climate change - as opposed to tackling the causes of it...

Police reveal stitch-up in
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1st June 2007 | Issue 590 - PIG IGNORANCE - Charges dropped as Oxford cops accidently tape themselves - Fourteen campaigners against the Oxford Animal lab, charged with various public order offences, walked free on May 30th after revelations of a police stitch-up. During the trial, a transcript of a dictaphone tape recorded by the cop's Tactical Advisor on the day was presented as evidence by the defence. The hour-long tape conclusively shows that Thames Valley Police are conspiring with Oxford University to smash the campaign.

Steve McQueen breaks into the G8 Summit
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1st June 2007 | Issue 590 - ROSTOCK & TWO SMOKIN BARRELS - The G8 Summit starts in Germany next week, as the protests - and police repression - build up a head of steam

Palestine - The Wall
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19th April 2007 | Issue 584

2007AD -  judgements to dredd...
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23rd March 2007 | Issue 581


Borat Enlargement Shock
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27th Oct 2006 | Issue 566 - as the right wing tabloids stir up xenophobia - and miss information - as Bulgarians and Romanians join the movement of labour across Europe...

V For Vendetta goes to the Anarchist Bookfair
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20th October 2006 | Issue 565 - BLACK BOOK BLOC - As another Anarchist Bookfair comes around...

9-11 - Bush in Alien conspiracy shocker
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8th September 2006 | Issue 559 - TRUTH-ACHE - It’s the big fight over ‘the truth’. In the blue corner we have the US government’s official version of 9-11 events and in all the other corners we have proponents of various ‘conspiracy’ theories. But in these days of governments caught telling outright lies about WMDs etc, and a massive groundswell of cynicism about any official pronouncement - just what is a conspiracy theory? What happens when ‘common sense’ is hijacked and the fringe goes mainstream?
Camp For Climate Action at Drax Power Station
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1st September 2006 | Issue 558 - DRAXIS OF EVIL - “Shutting down a power station isn’t enough to stop climate change but it’s a start.” - spokeswoman for climate camp protesters.

Big up to the 600 or so residing at the Camp For Climate Action, on a squatted site set against the backdrop of the Drax power station’s enormous cooling towers in north Yorkshire (See SchNEWS 546). Drax, the biggest the coal fired power station in Europe kicks out a massive 7% of the UK’s megawatts and emits as much CO2 as a quarter of Britain’s vehicle fleet.

Hasta La Vista Socialist Club
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18th August 2006 | Issue 556 - ON THE FIDEL -
Battle for the future of Cuba after Castro -
Fidel Castro’s laid up in bed, with possibly weeks to live. He’s had to hand the reins of power to his brother Raul, only five years younger and not terribly popular. Cuba’s status as an alternative model of development for Latin America is clearly under threat. Over the water in Miami thousands of exiled Cubans were disappointed that Old Fifi made his 80th birthday earlier this week (13th August) but it’s the end of an era and what happens next is the hot topic on the streets of Havana.

Chicken Run
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2nd Aug 2006 | Issue 553/554 - WING & A PRAYER - Air today, gone tomorrow for jet set society...

Tsars In Their Eyes - G8 Summit, Russia, 2006, fiends-reunited
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30th June 2006 | Issue 549 - TSARS IN THEIR EYES - Putin puts the boot in ahead of the G8 Summit meeting in Russia - One year on from Gleneagles (we can’t believe it – poverty’s still not history!), the G8 circus is re-forming (but almost certainly not reforming) for a St Petersburg-based shindig over the weekend of 15-17 July. As activists gear up for the most full-on anti summit mobilisation yet, the Russian state is already cracking down on those who might disrupt or inconvenience its chairmanship of the world’s most powerful club.


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10th March 2006 | Issue 535 - PIGS MIGHT LIE - Sussex police have shot themselves in the foot with unerring aim again after charges were dropped against eight activists relating to a mass demo outside Brighton bomb-builders EDO MBM on May 31st last year. Three of the defendants were up for the “Go directly to jail” offence of ‘assault police’, and others for Section 5 and obstruction of the Highway. The charges were formally dropped on Thursday afternoon, and a CPS statement claimed that as the injunction had now effectively collapsed it was ‘no longer in the public interest’ to continue the prosecutions.

Live And Let PFI
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24th February 2006 | Issue 533 - MoD PLC - Arms trade. Government sweeteners. Tax havens. Dodgy corporations making a killing. Directors paying themselves a packet. Ridiculous company names. Welcome to Neo Labour’s first full blown privatisation - QinetiQ, the arms research group.

ID Cards
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27th Jan 2006 | Issue 529 - MISTAKEN IDENTITY - “A national ID card for the UK is overly ambitious, extremely expensive and will not be a panacea against terrorism or fraud, although it will make a company like mine very happy.” - Roberto Tavano, biometrics specialist for Unisys.

Cafe in Broadway Markets, Hackney  is squatted
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13th January 2006 | Issue 527 - HACKED OFF - A cafe in Broadway Markets, Hackney, which was closed last year to make way for a yuppy development, is squatted and re-opened...

BNP Mr Men
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16th Dec 2005 | Issue 525

Hong Kong Phooey at the WTO meeting
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9th December 2005 | Issue 524 - HONG KONG PHOOEY - WTO Ministerial Conference Circus Hits Hong Kong

“The rhetoric of the WTO may be free trade, but its key agreements promote corporate monopoly.” - Walden Bello, Focus on the Global South

Hong Kong Phooey at the WTO meeting
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I Want That One
4th November 2005 | Issue 519 - IRAN-MONGERS - “The push by the UK, France and Germany to refer Iran to the UN Security Council, while rooted in the language of diplomacy, is really nothing less than an act of war.” - Scott Ritter; former Chief UN Weapons-inspector in Iraq.
SchNEWS tribute to Ronnie Barker, recently deceased

7th October 2005 | Issue 515 - IN A RIGHT STATE - as SchNEWS reviews how bad it's got in recent years as Neo-Labour continues to strip away civil liberties...

Oil Peakalypse Now
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27th May 2005 | Issue 499 - OIL PEAKALYPSE NOW - Peak Oil is the greatest story never told. Even though Peak Oil is the central fact driving the wars and economic crises of our time, it is seldom mentioned in the mainstream corporate news.

Bush considers Uzbekistan

18th March 2005 | Issue 489- LOLLY ROGERED- Iraq was invaded to grab control of Iraqi oil and extend Washington’s influence throughout the region. An unsustainable capitalist system is bringing war and misery to millions as it attempts to keep profits up while the oil runs out. It is not democracy that is on the march in the Middle East – it is US military power.

DSEi 2001 - 9-11

6th June 2003 | Issue 408/409 - G8 MY HAMSTER - Evian famous for its bottled water was instead busy last week bottling bullshit, as the leaders of the G8 summit meet to squabble over the spoils of war. Yet another conference for the new rulers of the world to be wined and dined, protected by thousands of armed police from the bottled-up emotions of the people they supposedly represent.

Lockheed Martin

2nd May 2003 | Issue 402/3 - BOMBS 'R' US - A target of this year's Mayday protests were the London offices of Lockheed Martin - the world’s largest weapons manufacturer. The company’s share prices rocketed after September 11th and with their fighter jets very busy during the invasion of Iraq, they’ve reported a doubling of profits in the first few months of this year.

Yarls Wood Towers "I mentioned Group 4 once but I think I got away with it."
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29th March 2002 | Issue 348 - YARL-BOO SUCKS!
Last month the Yarl’s Wood Detention Centre in Bedfordshire burned in a fire. The centre for detaining asylum seekers – the equivalent to a category B prison surrounded by razor wire - opened in November 2001, cost £100 million and is run by Group 4. But ever since it opened there's been constant protests about conditions. In January nearly all the detainees, went on hunger strike for 24 hours, while on the afternoon of 14th February, the day the fire started, trouble flared after a woman was handcuffed so she could be taken to hospital. At some point later a fire started. It’s not clear where, although many detainees believe it started in the reception area to which they have no access. Shocking stories from those who were inside on the day are only now emerging.

Privatisation of education

14th December 2001 | Issue 335 - CASH FOR CONNEXIONS - “Connexions is just one corner of a well-designed jigsaw puzzle which, when complete, will reveal a picture of education from which all freedom, all notions of public service and accountability to an electorate have vanished. The family silver is long gone, and now our children are being sold off.” Action on Rights for Children in education (ARCH)


SchNEWS, c/o Community Base, 113 Queens Rd, Brighton, BN1 3XG, England
Phone/Fax: +44 (0)1273 685913

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Jolly Roger Press
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Jolly Roger Press -
SchNEWS's take on an anarchist publishing house catalogue produced for the Anarchist Bookfair, Issue 608 - October 2007 (Download PDF - 970kb)

Blair Mugshot
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Blair Charge Sheet
- as Blair leaves, we look at his record - Issue 594, June 2007 (Click Here)

Rave Casualty Support Group
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Barrio Social Centre - What's On Guide - SchNEWS looks at a typical British social centre. Issue 573 - Jan 2007. (Download PDF - 220kb)

Upper Crust - from the spoof festival guide
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Spoof Festival Guide
- close to the bone parody of UK festival scene produced for Big Green Gathering, Issue 553 - August 2006. (Download PDF - 2.2meg)

Winston get a mohawk - Mayday 2000
SchNEWS Worst Britain
- produced for the Peace De Resistance book in 2003 (Click Here)

Are You Really Green? - questionnaire produced for the Big Green Gathering 2007 (not yet available)