Home | Satire

GRAPHICS Issues 351-400 (with some omissions)

click for bigger image

11th April 2003 | Issue 400 - Whose side were you on in the war Grandad - CNN or FOX?

4th April 2003 | Issue 399 - PERLES OF WISDOM - Despite whimperings from Prime Sinister Blair, US corporations look set to single-handedly rebuild the health, education, transport and political systems of Iraq - with the UN and international aid agencies not getting a sniff of the £60 billion worth of contracts being dished out by the US government. As fat corporate cats lick their lips at the money to be made from building airports and modernising Iraqi telecommunications and oil wells, SchNEWS can reveal that this is indeed a war of liberation – liberating Iraq’s resources from Iraqis and handing them over to caring US companies.

7th March 2003 | Issue 395 - WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONNAIRE? - Tony's been phoning a certain friend a lot lately as he positions himself as the US lapdog in the run-up to the Iraq invasion...

21st Feb 2003 | Issue 393 - The Anti-War Movement Needs YOU!

14th February 2003 | Issue 392 - IRAQ AND RUIN - “Why of course the people don’t want war…But after all it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship …Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they’re being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.”
-Hermann Goering, Nuremberg, 1946

7th February 2003 | Issue 391 - WASTE OF SPACE - Not content with being the world’s only superpower, the USA wants to extend its military might to achieve what it so bashfully calls “Full Spectrum Dominance”, which will mean backing up it’s dominance on earth by building up it’s weapons in space.

click for bigger image

31st Jan 2003 | Issue 390 - HEARTBREAK HOTEL - Many tabloid and broadsheet newspapers are carrying strong anti-immigration messages, with The Daily Mail, predictably, being the worst offender...

24th Jan 2003 | Issue 389 - INS AND OUT - “The idea that terrorism is a third world import carried in by non-white people has become the widely accepted excuse for increasingly repressive border policies throughout the global north... A border panic has been carefully constructed so that the ‘terrorists’ are always seen as existing ‘outside’ of ‘our society’.” - Nandita Sharma, Green Pepper magazine, Autumn 2002

17th Jan 2003| Issue 388 - DIRECT ACTION STATIONS - as the war machine builds up for an invasion on Iraq...

10th Jan 2003| Issue 387 - OIL DRUMS OF WAR

6th December 2002 | Issue 384 - KISSINGER OF DEATH - Human rights champion Henry Kissinger is to head an ‘independent’ commission to investigate the attacks on 9-11. Who better to investigate it than the man behind untold amounts of state-sponsored terrorism and wanted across the world as a war criminal! A proven liar has been assigned the task of finding the truth. Brilliant!

29th Nov 2002 | Issue 383 - GONE TO THE DOGS - Hunt saboteur Steve Christmas is run down by Surrey and Burstow hunt supporter Martin Maynard, causing extensive internal injuries. He is luckily going to be alright, but Maynard escaped with little more than a £75 fine for driving without a license or insurance. It's one rule for the fox hunters, another for the sabs...

22nd Nov 2002 | Issue 382 - FIREBRANDED - As SchNEWS went to press the Fire Brigade Union were planning an eight day strike over Neo Labour’s refusal to pay them a decent wage...

click for bigger image

15th Nov 2002 | Issue 381 - AXIS OF OIL

8th Nov 2002 | Issue 380- ASSAULT AND PEPPER - Thousands took part in last Thursday’s nationwide day of action against the threat of war on Iraq. In Brighton police pepper sprayed protesters...

25th October 2002 | Issue 379- PUTIN THE BOOT IN - In the geo-political battles to get control of oil in Azerbaijan, the US is funding the planned Baku-Ceyhan oil pipeline to deliver this resource to a West-friendly Mediterranean port in Turkey...

click for bigger image

25th Oct 2002 | Issue 378 - TRICKY TREATY - The EU's Nice Treaty is all about fast-tracking everything towards privatisation...

11th Oct 2002 | Issue 376 - DOCU-MENTAL - as Bush releases its new National Security Strategy of the United States of America.

27th Sept 2002 | Issue 373- WEAPON OF MASS DISTRACTION - The dodgy dossier is released - thin on details - as the US and Britain sells the idea of invading Iraq.

13th September 2002 | Issue 372 - SILENT BUT DEADLY - On the first anniversary of 9-11, we recall that other September 11 - 1973 - socialist President Allende of Chile was murdered in a coup led by CIA backed dictator, General Pinochet. Which reminds us of all the other war crimes and genocide the US has waged before and since 9-11.

click for bigger image

30th August 2002 | Issue 370 - And Finally... - While 12 million people starve to death in Africa, McDonald’s has just dreamed up a stunningly sensitive new product--the McAfrica burger. With no apparent sense of irony, these burgers are currenly on sale at McShit branches in one of the most expensive and comfortable countries in the West, Norway.

2nd Aug 2002 | Issue 366 - BORDERLINE CASE - In a group of actions spanning ten days (19-28 July), people from all over Europe hooked up with migrants without papers to reclaim the city of Strasbourg, on the French/German border for the No Border action camp..

12th July 2002 | Issue 364 - LAST SUPPER - In 1996 world leaders met at the World Food Summit to talk about how they might be able to reduce world hunger, a time when there were 800 million starving people. They made commitments to halve world hunger by 2015. Last month, nearly 6 years later, the follow on summit took place in Rome.

click for bigger image

5th July 2002 | Issue 363 - IDENTITY CRISIS - ID cards are back on the agenda – or as the government would like us to call them ‘Entitlement Cards’, which must mean the government and police are entitled to find out everything about you whenever they like...

27th June 2002 | Issue 361/2 GREENWASH AND GO - In the lead up to UN Climate Summit in Johannesburg, August 2002, the Business Action for Sustainable Development (BASD) are pushing partnerships like the Energy and Biodiversity Initiative, the Global Mining Initiative, and the Responsible Care programme. But as Corporate Europe Observatory point out “These projects are largely an attempt to improve the corporate members’ tarnished images. They are also a reaction to pressure by campaign and community groups or as a move to pre-empt binding regulation.” For example, the Responsible Care program, long criticised as greenwash by campaign groups and academics, was established by the chemical industry after the Bhopal disaster where a Union Carbide plant leaked poisonous gas killing 4,000 people instantly and injuring tens of thousands more (see SchNEWS 238). The move effectively killed off efforts to toughen regulations.

21st June 2002 | Issue 360 - CHOKER-COLA - As all SchNEWS readers will no doubt know the Coca-Cola Company “exists to benefit and refresh everyone it touches.” Which will come as great news to the villagers in the Kerala State of India who, thanks to one of Coca-Cola’s ‘refreshing’ factories, are suffering water contamination and shortages.

14th June 2002 | Issue 359 - BUG EYED - This week England became Champions of the World. Not on the football pitch, but in the Nosey Parker Premier League thanks to plans to give a whole host of bureaucrats the power to spy on us. From NHS executives to your local council, the Department of Work and Pensions to the Department for Transport; from the Home Office to the Post Office all could be getting the same powers of surveillance as the police. This brilliant idea comes thanks to a proposed amendment to the Regulation of Investigator Powers (RIP) Act. If the order is approved by MPs next Tuesday and the Lords a week later, these organisations will be able to make telephone companies and internet service providers hand over detailed personal information on any of us - without a court order.

31st May 2002 | Issue 357/8 - KASHMIR SWEATER - In January, as India and Pakistan prepared for war over Kashmir, a ‘Presidential’ Blair arrived in the subcontinent on what was called a “peace mission” – which coincided with the UK flogging 60 Hawk jets to India for a billion pounds...

17th May 2002 | Issue 355 - AMERICAN WET DREAM - It will be the ordinary Iraqi people who will again suffer if President Bush and his cronies use their so-called war on terrorism to start bombing a country, that has already been bombed back to the dark ages. The Pentagon’s ‘medium case scenario’ is that a war on Iraq could kill more than 10,000 civilians. But this could be even worse if, as journalist John Pilger puts it, the Americans “implement their current strategy of ‘total war’ and target Iraq’s electricity and water.”

10th May 2002 | Issue 354- FESTIVAL PIED - As Neo-Labour carries on the good work of the Tories to continue the clampdown on festivals in Britiain...